I'm a Failure, but I've yet to Mind

I usually write a blog post about why I haven't posted, but not this time, or else this blog will eventually become a sea of post about why I don't post. So I've decided to just post something. If you are curious as to why I haven't posted it's because I've been busy. Busy with school, Work, dating, getting rejected and more work. I'm usually pretty intimidated by the big "why haven't I posted anything" post so I push it back and just don't post. I'm saying screw it and just posting something.

I've always loved two thing in my life and they are Drawing and Guitar, but I can't do either. My whole life I've tried drawing and failed for the most part, I've also tried learning to play guitar and I've also failed at that. That doesn't mean that I've necessarily given up on both though.

I've always loved to draw. I even wanted to major in it for school, but that fell through. I did take classes in college for it, but it turns out that I wasn't very good at it. I stopped drawing for a while but I still go back to it everyday, but it seems that all I can draw now is portraits for characters, I can't even do profile. Oh well.

I don't think that the reason I don't play guitar is due to a lack of skill, but due to a lack of determination. I've always been really flaky when it comes to praticing. I've taken classes from multiple teachers and have tried to learn to play in different styles and it's all fallen through, but it's not due to lack of skill, just laziness.

Another thing is that even though I've always been a little depressed about this subject, it has never really bothered me all that much. If it actually bothered me more you'd think I'd practice more, but I don't. I've bought countless drawing supplies and own two different guitars and song books, but rather than a skill or pursuit, these two things have become light hobbies. I use my tools, but they're no longer my craft.

I've turned my efforts to writing, I want to write for publications and have my opinion and ideas known throughout the world, that's why I've changed my major to journalism and such. Hopefully I'll do better, but I just need to be more consistent.